Everytime someone says a variation on “Why should aromantics be queer? it’s not like anyone’s stopping you from marrying, stop complaining”…
…I almost want to punch someone in the face.
I am an aromantic asexual, and I would one day be interested in marriage. I may not be interested in “traditional” romanti-sexual relationships, but I am interested in some kind of long term, committed, intimate relationship. And the fact is that in this country, the only way to obtain legal recognition of that commitment - and access to financial, legal, and childcare benefits thereof - is marriage.
But in the state and time I live in, there is only a 50% chance of that being a possibility. If my partner happens to be of the “wrong” gender - which is just as likely, if not more, as having one of the “right” gender, we will be denied those rights just as much as any other queer couple. The groups that fight so hard to prevent marriage equality will not make an exception for me simply because I happen not to feel traditional romantic/sexual attraction. And if I do end up in a same gender partnership, people who take offense to that will not see a difference.
You see, for those of you who can’t conceptualize romantic orientations other than as watered down versions of other orientations - if we’re going to make comparisons, aromantics will probably always be closer to bisexuals than heterosexuals. I mean, for me, when questioning my identity, the first real thing I managed to establish was that I did not prefer men over women. It didn’t take long to figure out that the reverse wasn’t true either, and so for the period before I found out about asexuality, “apathetic bisexual” was the best mental descriptor I could find. On forced choice surveys that exclude asexuality, “bisexual” will always be the next best choice for me.
Why do people still seem to want to insist so much that we must be straight?