Tumblr! I have recently run across a handful of terms that I have not covered in my asexual visibility vlog, Tales of a Homoromantic Ace. Not only was I previously unfamiliar with some of these terms, I need HALP defining them. I don’t want to put misinformation out there! Also, if there have any important terms I missed, please point them out :)
These are the terms I’ve covered so far:
-sexual attraction vs. sex drive
-asexuality vs. celibacy
-primary vs. secondary sexual attraction
-repulsed and indifferent
These are the terms I still haven’t defined but want to and need a little HALP with:
Here’s some rough definitions of how I use them, off the top of my head. Though keep in mind that these will be a little simplified and that usage may differ from person to person.
-queerplatonic: a non-romantic, non-sexual relationship, particularly one with the type of significance often reserved for more traditional romantic-sexual relationships. May refer to the relationship, or the other party in the relationship. (Ex. “I have a queerplatonic relationship with Aaron. He is my queerplatonic partner!”)
let me know if you see anything that you think is incorrect, needs to be expanded, etc.
A queerplatonic relationship doesn’t need to be non-sexual. It’s mostly a non-romantic thing. (it can also be non-sexual though) It’s mostly an aromantic thing (aromantics use platonic to mean non-romantic) and there are quite a few aromantics who aren’t asexual. :)
huh, interesting. Out of curiosity, do you know any specific instances of it being in use that way among aromantic non-asexuals? The term originated among aromantic asexuals, and in that context it did usually refer specifically to a type of non-romantic and non-sexual relationship, but I could see it being adapted to include sexual but non-romantic relationships. (Although, personally, I think I would rather there be a seperate term, as sexual-but-aromantic relationships could be very different from asexual-and-aromantic relationships in terms of structure and implications, so that could be confusing. In addition, when I (as an aromantic) have discussed queerplatonics before, I have always understood it as referring specifically to a non-romantic AND non-sexual relationship.)
Also, at least in the original use of the word, the “platonic” part was a reference to the usual use of “platonic” in the asexual community to refer to non-sexual and non-romantic affection, (and which is used more generally to refer to non-sexual and sometimes non-romantic), which makes me think that it really wouldn’t be as useful a term for non-romantic but sexual relationships, as the term platonic means “non-sexual” in pretty much all modern contexts.
And again, personally, I think I would prefer that it remain defined as aromantic and asexual relationships, as they intersect in very particular ways that contribute to the nature and discussions of queerplatonic relationships in a way that I think aromantic sexual relationships do not.
Rather, I think that aromantic sexual relationships have their own issues and would be best treated as a distinct category in order to be able to better understand their own particular nature. Although I’m not sure what a good term for them would be. (Fuck-buddy and sex friend are the closest I can come up with in existing english, but I think the first is too crass and they both imply a lack of any other intimacy than sex, so neither really works for what I think you are referring to)