WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’ve heard plenty of horror stories about AVEN from my Yada friends (and I admit I never really felt comfortable there as a demi) but I met David Jay last month and he was lovely, even added me on FB - so I’m appalled. I’m going to confront him on this. I can’t just let it slide.
[Image Description: Legs sticking out of a trash can , wearing jeans and socks striped like the asexual flag, in black, grey, white, and purple.]
David Jay (to another asexual volunteer/activist):
Look, I don’t have time to babysit the AVEN admod team, nor am I responsible for what they post. I did not appoint them to those positions. The community elected them.
I am not going to apologize for what they post on my site. You are just going to have to take the personal attacks and defamation for the sake of the asexual movement.
Aww, DJ, you didn’t really say that, did you? Because if so, I am disappoint. Do we have a source for this?
*whistles* Wooooow, DJ. Also disappointed, if it’s true.
Although I’m totally unsurprised to see that he’s completely checked out on the forums of AVEN, honestly—it’s been very clear to me for several years now that DJ has nothing to do with those forums and is not involved with them in any meaningful way. I don’t think he’s played any active role on them for at least three or four years at this point.
That said, the forums are still present on his site, and if he doesn’t want to be responsible for what happens on them, particularly with respect to the often appalling behavior of the admod team, he should act in some way to publicly distance them from the parts of AVEN (that is, the visibility/education work) that he is involved in. AVEN is DJ’s project, and if he doesn’t want to be responsible for the forum’s conduct he cannot just say “fine, not my problem” while still promoting those forums and AVEN as a whole as the face of ace communities. He does have to actually decide whether or not those forums should still be a major part of his site, and if so they and the behavior of their moderation remain his responsibility to deal with.
I’m more concerned about the bit in bold. What kind of movement will we have if it’s built on personal attacks and defamation of community members? What kind of community are we if we let those things slide?
^This. There is a reason I haven’t recommended AVEN as a source in years, and that I sort of wince every time it’s treated as the asexual hub.
I’ve met David Jay on a couple different occasions, which is why I’m shocked at the idea that he would ever say anything like this. Do let us know what he says, would you?
To be honest, I’m not sure whether this quote was verbatim or paraphrased, but I do know that is was provided with no source, no context, and no background information, which is why I’m rather skeptical about it - whether it’s valid, whether it was a justified statement or not, etc. The way it’s been presented is sensationalistic, probably misleading, and also most likely an unapproved breach of personal privacy.
Also, can we please not harass DJ, especially with so little information to go on? If you want to ask him about the context, sure, but tumblr has a history of going on vengeful crusades, whether warranted or not. I hope it won’t be a problem, but just….don’t automatically assume the worst, and try to play nice.
Oh, of course! I, for one, have no intention whatsoever of harassing David Jay, NOR do I condone it. I do think, however, that it would be good to get his side of the story before this gets too out of hand.
To anyone who has been following this situation: DJ has issued a response which basically confirms what I had suspected - this “quote” is entirely false.
However, even with that in mind, I think that despite the originally trigger for this discussion turned out to be BS, there’s been a lot of good conversation that has been come out of the commentary, and that still remains valid.
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