May 2013
28 posts
Only 8 days left to support Asexual Pride +... →
AVEN is shaping up to have the biggest and best Pride ever. On Saturday we’ll have a full-fledged conference in Berkeley with the major leaders of the Ace Movement and a day full of workshops on everything from improving mental health services for aces to aces in popular television.   Then on Saturday, anyone who wants to will march in the parade! We’ll have art, t-shirts, flags and a great...
May 22nd
1 note
Participants Wanted: Asexual Terminology Survey →
avenpt: My name is Andrew Hinderliter, and I am a Ph.D. candidate in the Department of Linguistics at the University of Illinois-Urbana Champaign.  My dissertation is about online asexual discourse, with particular interest in its development over time.  I ran one survey last January, and I am now conducting a survey on asexuality-related concepts and terminology. To participate, you must be...
May 22nd
148 notes
The AVEN backup boards →
avenpt: Unfortunately, AVEN is having some technical server problems right now, which is why the forums are currently inaccessible. We’re working to try and get it back up as soon as we can, but in the meantime we have alternate boards open here: http://asexualityorg.proboards.com/index.cgi Since it’s not connected to the same database as AVEN, you will need to re-register. Our apologies for...
May 20th
5 notes
The AVEN backup boards →
avenpt: Unfortunately, AVEN is having some technical server problems right now, which is why the forums are currently inaccessible. We’re working to try and get it back up as soon as we can, but in the meantime we have alternate boards open here: http://asexualityorg.proboards.com/index.cgi Since it’s not connected to the same database as AVEN, you will need to re-register. Our apologies for...
May 19th
5 notes
May 19th
22 notes
metapianycist: bessibels: greenchestnuts: mari: attention all asexuals who make frequent cake jokes and uncontrollably… temporal-apparition: attention all asexuals who make frequent cake jokes and uncontrollably blog about how much you love BBC characters can you do the rest of us a favor and never post on the tag again because you idiots and your “FEELS” and “CAKE ISH BETTER THAN SEX...
May 13th
67 notes
It's Complicated, Let Me Draw You This Graph:... →
writingfromfactorx: So I’ve been thinking about asexual culture and asexual perspectives lately. There were a few recent comments on an old post at Asexuality Unabashed on the topic, and then last week’s journal club got drawn out on a tangent about whether asexual people see the world differently than allosexual people, on the whole. I often see people complaining that asexual culture boils...
May 13th
51 notes
5 tags
“New oppression seems to lie, however, in excess psychiatric consensus that women...”
– Myra T. Johnson, “Asexual and Autoerotic Women: Two invisible Groups”, 1977
May 11th
38 notes
To any followers of mine in new york:
littlepaperfrogs: I’m looking for a good lunch/brunch place near Grand Central Station - any suggestions?
May 10th
3 notes
AVEN @ SF Pride - T-shirt design contest!  →
littlepaperfrogs: nextstepcake: Hey all you artsy types -  Want a way to help out a cool group of aces, get some sweet chocolates, and earn my everlasting gratitude?  AVEN is currently running a design contest to select a t-shirt design to be worn by all of us at pride, and we are really looking for submissions! You don’t have to be ace to enter, and you can send in as many submissions as...
May 9th
26 notes
Anyone Know of a Place That Sells Ace Charms?
sophiaphilemon: I just found a charm bracelet this afternoon that doesn’t have any actual charms on it. Also you can probably find charms of thing like say cake or ace of spade symbols form general charm places (online, or in craft stores). Also for charms in general places like antique stores that sell old jewelry can be cool places to find things.
May 9th
3 notes
On the Subject of Avalanche →
cirius-black: Hi, you are cordially invited to try out the asexual community linked here, rather than just taking the opinion of an ignorant douche as truth. If you have a mind of your own, this is the place for you. ^_^ Everyone is welcome. First, a heads up - Avalanche is definitely not for everyone. If you have issues with being triggered by things, you probably shouldn’t visit, and...
May 9th
4 notes
Fistfelt: listenwithyourspirit reblogged your... →
fistfelt: listenwithyourspirit reblogged your post: I wore a binder/tight sports bra for 5 days… Well it’s not recommended nor is it safe to wear a binder more than 8 hours. SO no one really wears one for 24/7 I know that lots of people wear them for wayyy longer than they should (not that… Also after a certain point a tighter binder doesn’t actually bind any better (and may...
May 9th
2 notes
7 tags
Seeing all the "definition" arguments on the tags...
not just as an asexual, but as a student of linguistics. I often feel the need to bash my head into a table because seriously, language just doesn’t work that way!
May 6th
12 notes
Another thing about coming out
metapianycist: the-low-and-the-lovely: metapianycist: I think it’s perfectly fine for someone to use “coming out” to refer to disclosing being pagan or having an invisible disability. In addition to it being perfectly fine for disclosure of any non-heterosexual sexual orientation (including asexuality), any non-heteroromantic romantic orientation (including aromantic), any nonbinary gender...
May 6th
48 notes
greenchestnuts: drum-major-instinct: No, I’m concerned about the surveys that have less than 50 people and only 7 people self identified as asexual. Sure, one British study had 18K participants, but that was after the AIDS scare, so people had incentive to participate.  So if you acknowledge there are problems, why are you pretending the research is good? I’m not pretending anything. Of...
May 6th
48 notes
May 5th
38 notes
1 tag
AVEN @ SF Pride - T-shirt design contest!  →
littlepaperfrogs: nextstepcake: Hey all you artsy types -  Want a way to help out a cool group of aces, get some sweet chocolates, and earn my everlasting gratitude?  AVEN is currently running a design contest to select a t-shirt design to be worn by all of us at pride, and we are really looking for submissions! You don’t have to be ace to enter, and you can send in as many submissions as...
May 4th
26 notes
5 tags
AVEN @ SF Pride - T-shirt design contest!  →
Hey all you artsy types -  Want a way to help out a cool group of aces, get some sweet chocolates, and earn my everlasting gratitude?  AVEN is currently running a design contest to select a t-shirt design to be worn by all of us at pride, and we are really looking for submissions! You don’t have to be ace to enter, and you can send in as many submissions as you want, so please consider...
May 3rd
26 notes
Help AVEN raise funds to support the SF Pride... →
AVEN is shaping up to have the biggest and best Pride ever. On Saturday we’ll have a full-fledged conference in Berkeley with the major leaders of the Ace Movement and a day full of workshops on everything from improving mental health services for aces to aces in popular television.   Then on Saturday, anyone who wants to will march in the parade! We’ll have art, t-shirts, flags and a great...
May 3rd
36 notes
May 3rd
14 notes
5 tags
If you could have one of those livestrong/rainbow...
Like, what colors? Just purple? purple, white, black and grey all together? And what about words? Some random ideas off the top of my head: (Nothing at all) “Asexual Pride” “Asexy and I know it” (assuming it fits) “Asexy” “Ace Pride” Also how much would you be willing to pay for something like that?
May 2nd
9 notes
4 tags
BA thesis: Asexual BDSM Practitioners
theandrogynouscasualty: In a few days I will complete my BA thesis on BDSM practitioners that identify along the ace spectrum (more specifically, ace individuals whose relationships involve or stem from BDSM activity). Most happy, given that I’ve sweat and bled and cried over the damn thing for the past year (consensually, albeit non-enthusiastically consensually).  If any folks out there are...
May 2nd
15 notes
4 tags
The A is Here to Stay →
pearlsfromthewest: I wrote this piece for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s blog — and I’m really interested in what aces think of the language at the bottom of the first paragraph. It’s really important to me to be inclusive of everyone in our community, so I am trying out new ways to define asexuality to audiences who may have never heard of it before,or have only heard of it in...
May 1st
16 notes
ace-symmetric: So I had an ace meetup today… Read More oh, wow, that sucks. For future meetups, though, one way to avoid that is to get people’s cell numbers (or at least the organizer’s) beforehand so you can check in closer to the meetup.
May 1st
6 notes
“Both heterosexuals and homosexuals view bisexuality with misunderstanding,...”
–  from Attitudes and Self-Images of Male and Female Bisexuals by Carol D. Bronn “both worlds are closets” Ouch. That one hit home. (via loveintheshadowsistheonlykind)
May 1st
5,795 notes
1 tag
Everything you always wanted to know about sex*
enigmatictelemarketer: *but were afraid to ask That’s the title of a book I found on a shelf full of old books in a gift shop in Drumnadrochit, Scotland. It was published around 1970, and is therefore extraordinarily dated and hilarious. Some of it is well-intentioned but just silly in retrospect, and some of it is actually quite awful. The section about homosexuality is particularly bad. A...
May 1st
12 notes
A story to help out with nextstepcake's debacle
captainheartless: So, in light of all of the stuff going on here: http://nextstepcake.tumblr.com/tagged/consent%20shaming%20debacle , I feel like I should speak about some of my experiences. So what follows is mostly me just explaining some of my experiences, as an asexual, with sex. (not sure if I need any trigger warnings- its about a positive, consensual sexual experience) Read More
May 1st
23 notes
April 2013
87 posts
2 tags
PSA: sex does not have to be enjoyable to be...
hatilda: nextstepcake: And I do not have to feel sexual attraction to be able to consent to sex. Being asexual shouldn’t rob me of the ability to have my own agency. Oh look! More rape culture from tumblr asexuals! since you seem to have completely missed the point here, I suggest reading the further explanations which have been collected...
Apr 30th
294 notes
greenchestnuts: emeraldincandescent: voltafiish: I think it’s kinda of gross that all these people are coming and going “UGH YOU’RE HAVING SEX WRONG”  like i thought no one cared about the sex aces were having? where are those people anyway? cause apparently people are caring about the hypothetical sex nextstepcake is having? you see aces cannot win ever “if you don’t have sex with...
Apr 30th
64 notes
1 tag
Consent shaming debacle
queenieofaces: Trigger warnings: rape, sexual assault, Queenie being angry at people The whole consent shaming debacle* has made me pretty frustrated with everyone and everything.  I am well-aware that getting involved in this thing is an exercise in futility, but I have to say something or else I will explode (and that would be messy). If you remove aces’ sexual agency, you not only do a...
Apr 30th
58 notes
also, just fyi my tumblr has been doing weird things with message notifications so if you sent me an ask recently there’s a chance my inbox may have eaten it - if it isn’t published already, I didn’t get it.
Apr 30th
Anonymous asked: Little bit of eternal love for the last anon you posted.
Apr 30th
4 tags
Anonymous asked: I'm an asexual in a 3.5 year long relationship with a non-ace; we're very minimally sexually active now, but in the past, we had sex more often. The idea that I, as an adult, was unable to consent to sex because I didn't physically enjoy it, and was actually being raped is absolutely disgusting. My partner wasn't "using me", he wanted to have sex because he loves me,...
Apr 30th
2 notes
4 tags
Anonymous asked: I am so confused why people are so upset about this??? Like if you're consenting (AND NOT BEING COERCED INTO IT) then it should be fine???? it shouldn't even matter how amazingly interested or not someone is. Like you said, for some people sex can be this amazing thing but for others it's just a thing you sometimes do
Apr 30th
4 notes
4 tags
lsunnyc asked: I don't understand the comments about a partner staring blankly at the ceiling during sex. They've missed the entire point of the argument. If you're not comfortable with your partner touching, kissing, holding, or physically and intimately coming in contact with you: you are not going to consent to sex regardless of where you fall under the blanket of tumblr terms. You're...
Apr 30th
4 tags
Anonymous asked: I have untold respect for you because of the OP and that reaction rant, because unfortunately one of my friends (aka: my only contact with Asexuality) is moving steadily towards "if you don't actively enjoy sex then YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER PARTICIPATE THAT'S RAPE CULTURE", and your post was a breath of fresh air. Even as a sexual person, I sometimes agree to have sex because my...
Apr 30th
2 notes
4 tags
Anonymous asked: i wish you wouldn't say things like "opposite gender", it's a really binarist way of thinking and as a neutrois person makes me incredibly uncomfortable. s orry i was reading back on your blog, it's really interesting but this sorta bugs me a lot. a better option would be "different gender"
Apr 30th
1 tag
Really, tumblr?
aceofantlers: nextstepcake: Even if you disagree with my opinion that I can decide for myself whether I desire and would consent to sex that I may not find enjoyable*, do you really think calling me a “living fuckdoll” is an appropriate response? Like, what kind of train of thought is “that person sounds like they’re being pressured to consent to unwanted sex.**..I know! Let’s call them a...
Apr 30th
14 notes
4 tags
Clarification on consensual but unenjoyed sex:
I have two main points that I want to clarify: 1. First, just because you are asexual doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex! In fact, asexuals are quite capable of enjoying the physical aspects of sex, even if they may not feel sexual attraction. Some asexuals will of course not enjoy sex; but this does not mean that an asexual having sex will automatically not enjoy it. So please...
Apr 30th
20 notes
3 tags
For those who are tired of the current argument...
I’m going to go through and start tagging all of my posts on the subject with “consent shaming debacle” so feel free to blacklist them.
Apr 30th
1 note
1 tag
Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease: PSA: sex does not... →
cursiveonly: greenchestnuts: cursiveonly: bestiesnotestes: ravefromthegrave: thesixpennybook: nextstepcake: (snipped because this is getting insanely long) I’ll be a fool and bite, but unlike last time I’m going to try to get all of my thoughts into one concise post because I am not having a huge debate over this because the whole concept is stomach-churning to me. We should...
Apr 30th
294 notes
1 tag
PSA: sex does not have to be enjoyable to be...
doulaness: greenchestnuts: doulaness: thesixpennybook: nextstepcake: And I do not have to feel sexual attraction to be able to consent to sex. Being asexual shouldn’t rob me of the ability to have my own agency. Presented: why talking about sex in terms of “consent” rather than desire and fulfilment and freedom is dangerous. Agreeing that someone can masturbate with your body may make...
Apr 30th
294 notes
1 tag
Woman On The Edge Of Tyne: PSA: sex does not have... →
greenchestnuts: mousesinger: vegetablearian: home-of-amazons: thesixpennybook: nextstepcake: And I do not have to feel sexual attraction to be able to consent to sex. Being asexual shouldn’t rob me of the ability to have my own agency. Presented: why talking about sex in terms of “consent” rather… I am really trying to find something to say to this but I stop at the title because...
Apr 30th
294 notes
1 tag
reajeasa asked: Someone said something mean on the internet about asexuality being "a disorder, against basic human nature" (BREAKING NEWS!!!). I want to reblog with a link to that asexual women and arousal paper and a summary, but the best one I seem to be able to find is by you. The internet is being awful to you today, so I hope that's still okay? I'm sorry it's trying to bite your...
Apr 30th
1 tag
warlocksexalways asked: Urgh, I'm sorry people are jumping down your throat over that post. You made a perfectly valid statement and it was an "I" statement. It was not a statement about how sex should work for everyone. I think it was a pretty good distinction to make and if people read rape culturey things into it that's their fault. I'm sorry people think you asserting your own sexual agency...
Apr 30th
2 notes
5 tags
“That actually caused a few other forums to be created, trying to offer alternatives to AVEN and fix some of the problems. I don’t know if any of them survived, though, and it didn’t fix the problems with AVEN itself.” -(from http://asexy-beast.tumblr.com/post/49145542659/nextstepcake-snippet-emphasis-added-people) I’m not sure which specific ones this is referring to, but as...
Apr 30th
9 notes
4 tags
Really, tumblr?
Even if you disagree with my opinion that I can decide for myself whether I desire and would consent to sex that I may not find enjoyable*, do you really think calling me a “living fuckdoll” is an appropriate response? Like, what kind of train of thought is “that person sounds like they’re being pressured to consent to unwanted sex.**..I know! Let’s call them a...
Apr 30th
14 notes
3 tags
PSA: sex does not have to be enjoyable to be...
vegetablearian: home-of-amazons: thesixpennybook: nextstepcake: And I do not have to feel sexual attraction to be able to consent to sex. Being asexual shouldn’t rob me of the ability to have my own agency. Presented: why talking about sex in terms of “consent” rather than desire and fulfilment and freedom is dangerous. Agreeing that someone can masturbate with your body may make it...
Apr 30th
294 notes
Friendly Neighborhood Sasshole:... →
metapianycist: secretly-a-mad-scientist: iwilleatyourenglish: so i made the horrible mistake the other day of going onto AVEN just to give you some background: my girlfriend is asexual and one of my close friends is asexual, so i’m hella interested in being informed and up-to-date and what have you all i can say is: what in the… update: so far I’ve just seen “gender: male” or “gender:...
Apr 29th
14 notes